


The Middle

by dixieday



Series: The Middle [1]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Las Vegas, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-23
Updated: 2012-05-23
Packaged: 2017-11-05 21:56:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/411421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dixieday/pseuds/dixieday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony and Bruce wake up in Las Vegas married.  The only problem, they aren't even dating.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Middle

**Author's Note:**

> For anon on Avengerkink:  
> Bruce is used to waking up having no idea where he is, buck naked. He is NOT used to waking up having no idea where he is, buck naked, WITH A WEDDING RING ON HIS RING FINGER, next to an equally buck naked, equally confused Tony Stark. WHO ALSO HAS A WEDDING RING ON HIS RING FINGER!
> 
> Maybe this is why they shouldn’t have gone to Vegas.
> 
> +1000 If when they hack into security cameras to find out what happened, they see Thor dragging Loki (who isn’t trying to kill anyone at the moment, WTF) up the aisle to get married right before Bruce and Tony do. I just can’t help myself- I ship Thor/Loki so hard. Absolutely not necessary, though.
> 
> If there’s smut, bottom!Tony please!
> 
> So yeah, I've only managed to get to part of the prompt - oops. I do plan on writing more for this, it'll probably end up being a series of snippets.

It takes Bruce about 10 seconds to realize that waking up in a very nice, and by the looks of things, very expensive hotel room should not hurt as much as this did. (It was probably at this point he should have realized that Tony had something to do with this – but hey, he’s more hung-over than he ever remembers being). His entire body feels like it has tripled in weight (which looking on the brightside of things was better than being big and green, but didn’t help so much with the feeling human part) and his head was pounding. 

Lifting his hand he tries to scrub some feeling back into his face, the extra weightiness he could feel in his limbs making him smack himself in the face instead, ‘Owww’. Not his smartest move. 

Groaning he rolls over to lie on his back, flinging his arms out to either side, his right arm landed on the blissfully soft and cool covers, his left hand lands with a meaty _thwack._

With a sinking feeling he turns his head to the left, he’s pretty sure that the wide-eyed stare he’s met with is the exact same expression as what’s on his face. But Tony is shocked about being smacked in the face; while Bruce is still in shock about waking up in comfortable surroundings and no carnage around him. So Bruce is officially ruling out the Hulk getting him in this situation. Shame, sometimes it’s easier in these situations when he can blame them on turning big and green. 

He’s not moved his hand yet, his arm is squishing Tony’s cheek and mouth but he can’t seem to get it to move. Tony – stand up guy that he is – decides to help him out. Bruce watches, as Tony’s hand appears to grab his, holding it off his face and allowing him to finally speak. 

With a raised eyebrow and his trademark smirk firmly in place he asks, ‘Is there a reason you’re in my bed?’ He’s staring at Bruce, clearly waiting for an answer; only Bruce doesn’t have an answer. What Bruce does have is a high-pitched noise; it’s squeaky, very annoying and doesn’t seem to be stopping. 

Tony is looking at him a little quizzically but Bruce is no longer looking at Tony, he’s looking at the hand that Tony is currently holding, the one that now appears to have two wedding bands on it. They’re red and gold. 

It’s only then that he realizes that the high-pitched noise is coming from him. He’s not surprised to be met with a blank stare; he sounds like a deflating balloon and can’t seem to get any words out. So taking a breath he tries again and of course his question comes out in one big rush ‘…didwegetmarriedlastnight?’ 

Tony looks at the hand that he’s still holding onto and yeah, he’s now got a look on his face that Bruce is a pretty sure matches how he feels. It turns out that if you want Tony to sober up quickly just announce that you’re married to him. Bruce hasn’t even finished blinking in the time it takes Tony to drop his hand, leap out of the bed and start pacing. 

Tony is naked, pacing back and forth by the side of the bed, running his hands through his hair and muttering to himself. Bruce would probably pay more attention to the show if his brain were able to process anything past I’M MARRIED TO TONY STARK. 

Tony stops pacing; turning in Bruce’s direction, he’s looking down at his own ring. 

‘What color is your ring?’ 

‘Rings’.

‘What…’ 

‘Rings, I have two. They’re red and gold, why?’

‘Mine’s green’.

Bruce resists the urge to roll his eyes, if only because it would probably render him unconscious. ‘How romantic, we were too drunk to remember actually getting married, but apparently not too drunk as to make sure we gave each other rings that matched our – what – super hero alter egos.’ 

Tony has nothing to say to that – so thankfully he’s saved from having to talk by AC/DC.

'What the hell is that noise? And can you please for the love of everything turn it off,' said Bruce. He’s clutching his head and hoping that it doesn’t explode or the big guy decides that he should come out to protect Bruce from Tony and his lost phone.

'I’m assuming it’s my phone’, Tony says whilst scanning the bedroom for any signs of it. 

It’s just Bruce’s luck that the phone is in the bed – somewhere. 

'Tony what...what are you doing?'

'Getting my phone.'

'Under the sheets…where I happen to be naked.' Bruce realizes that his voice got a little high there at the end, but Tony has just thrown himself on the bed and is pulling at the sheets in an effort to dig out his missing phone. Bruce is grabbing all the sheets he can get hold of and tucking them round his body trying to cover himself, he’ll laugh at the irony of the situation later…much later. 

Tony’s voice is slightly muffled as he mutters to himself, ‘this is why I should bring JARVIS everywhere, then I would never forget my night or loose my phone if he was here.' 

Bruce really isn’t convinced JARVIS could have stopped last night from happening, 'You would still have had the same night, but if JARVIS was here you'd have a recording of the entire thing,' and that is not a comforting thought. 

Tony’s head pops up by Bruce’s hip, meaning he’s managed to yank a good proportion of the covers from Bruce’s body. ‘You can't deny the fact that a recording would really help us right now.' There was some more pushing and pulling, and then Tony’s voice, slightly muffled could be heard saying, 'found it.' 

Bruce isn’t looking at Tony when he finally emerges from under the sheets; he’s looking around the room at the various articles of clothing strewn around haphazardly and desperately trying to remember something, anything, from last night, but he's coming up blank. So when he does turn his attention back to Tony he’s a little surprised at the shit-eating grin on his face.

‘You never told me about your Facebook page!’ and now Tony is looking like an even bigger, smugger bastard than a few minutes ago. 

Bruce has no idea where this is going and really wishes that for once Tony would just get to the point. ‘I don’t have a Facebook page. Actually, I’m pretty sure we’re not allowed one…after what happened on Thor’s page,’ he can see when Tony remembers the incident, that wasn’t a fun night at the tower for anyone. He would bet all of Tony’s money that Coulson is still dealing with a sulking demi-god who’s no longer allowed to converse with his many ‘Friends’

Tony shudders at the memory, ‘Yeah, well, I think Coulson’s going to want to have a discussion with you about Facebook pages and what’s OK and not OK to reveal to the world.’ Bruce just knows that he’s not going to like what comes out of Tony’s mouth next, ‘you do know that we have PR managers to handle this stuff - Mr. Banner-Stark.’ 

Bruce grabs the phone from Tony; looking at the screen he can’t stop his jaw from dropping. Scrolling down the page he can see that changing his surname isn’t all he did last night, there are pictures. Lots and lots of pictures. Of them. Uh-oh.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm dipping a toe into this pairing and fandom for the first time *hurrah*.  
> Sadly no beta but it's spell-checked, so hopefully it wasn't too bad. I've not written anything for over a year - writer's block is a bitch! Con-crit is welcomed.


End file.
